'Extreme Couponing' May Lead To A Life Of Crime

Illustration for article titled Extreme Couponing May Lead To A Life Of Crime

Add "inspiring a national crime wave" to your list of offenses committed by TLC. Thanks to the show Extreme Couponing, there's been an increase in newspaper-related crimes of late. Poynter reports that a woman in California was caught trying to return a stack of newspapers for being incomplete after pulling out the inserts in her car, and there have been similar incidents in Arkansas, Texas, Alabama, and Florida. Apparently TLC needs to run a disclaimer warning viewers that saving 50¢ on a 12-pack of Charmin isn't worth risking jail time.


Earlier: ‘Extreme Couponing' Show Blamed For Rise In Newspaper Thefts


Image via Jim Barber/Shutterstock.

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Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark

I can just see it now: a 20 to 30-something chick flick starring Jessica Biel (Drew Barrymore?) ( as a sort of down-and-out professional woman who is hurting for money because of the economy (LOL AND SHE BUYS A LOT OF SHOES!!!) In order to make ends meet and save for a frantically oncoming retirement, she starts cutting coupons. But then, one of her friends tells her about extreme couponing and she starts going crazy.

But her behavior catches the attention of the newspaper company, who is losing their inventory to a madwoman who keeps taking increasingly large numbers of papers out of all of the newsstands! And let's also note that it's funny because she shows signs of hoarding. THOSE SILLY WOMEN.

Well, a plucky young investigative reporter (Ashton Kutcher) is sent to not only figure out what the hell is happening to all the papers, but just who is this crazy person who is taking all of the papers (it's now county-wide! There will be a high-larious montage of her running around town at 6 AM to grab every paper after the paper route finishes— we'll even get to see her meticulous mapping of the route, though she never showed any signs of being organized in anything else.

I don't want to spoil too much, but let's just say that the plucky young reporter will find out that not only has the young woman stolen all of the papers to save money, but also to save his heart.

I think we'll call it: Saving for Love