Everything Was Cake But Now Everything Is Baguette

Illustration for article titled Everything Was Cake But Now Everything Is Baguette
Screenshot: Moschino

For a minute there, the whole world was cake. Your loved one? Cake. Your dog? Also cake. The subway? That was cake too. Even the moon was cake. But now, everything is no longer cake.


Everything is baguette that is also maybe cake, who really knows.

Today, Moschino launched their brand new “baguette bag,” a part of their Fall/Winter 2020 collection, which costs a measly $1240 dollars. In it, one can maybe store a smaller baguette, or multiple tiny baguettes. A lucky few might fit a phone in there, and maybe like, a lint roller, or other cylindrical objects, like lipsticks and dildos.

If a person prefers $1240 croissants over $1240 baguettes, Moschino has that option too. However, just so everyone is clear, this is still a baguette.

Screenshot: Moschino

In a year where everything was cake, it’s nice to have a change of pace, where things are now baguettes instead. In the morning, I look forward to waving to my baguette neighbors, and watching the baguette sun rise in the baguette sky, over a Hollywood sign that is also a baguette. Just a question: If everything was cake, and now everything is baguette, does that make a baguette also cake?

Who really knows, I’m not a mathematician.


Manic Otti

I love it! Since it doesn’t have a strap, it’s not really a purse right? As a man, I could I just carry that around and use it as a wallet. And if I put a steel rod in there, it would also be good for self defense.