Everyone Smokes Up These Days Except Obama

Illustration for article titled Everyone Smokes Up These Days Except Obama
  • Barack Obama had a meeting and a bunch of potheads showed up. Somebody told them there would be brownies. [NY Times]
  • Then the Republicans held a meeting to talk about their alternative budget and a bunch of people expecting numbers showed up and there were neither numbers OR pot brownies because the Republicans ate 'em. Jason Linkins calls that "happy hour at the Chuckle Hut." [Huffington Post]
  • Then Robert Gibbs went all Jon Stewart on them, harshing their mellow. [Washington Post]
  • And then Michelle Bachmann introduced a bill to prevent the establishment of a world currency and everyone got really pissed that the Republican leadership had bogarted all the weed. [CBS News]
  • Lacking in mind-altering substances, John McCain finally admitted everyone voted for Sarah Palin instead of him. [Washington Independent]
  • His former lead staffer Steve Schmidt came out for gay marriage but not in that way, and McCain turned to the bottle and some old Vicodin he found. [Huffington Post]
  • Sarah Palin sought to blunt Republican criticism of her plan to reject one-third of the federal stimulus money by not showing up to a meeting with Republican legislators. [Politico]
  • New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand prefers straight nicotine to weed by, like, a lot. [NY Times]
  • Papa's got a brand-new Afghanistan strategy that includes Pakistan and doesn't make your heroin any cheaper, so stick to weed. [NY Times]

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When I heard the President of the United States say this: "The answer is no, I don't think that [legalizing pot] is a good strategy to grow the economy," I was in the kitchen making dinner.

And I said, out loud: "Well, actually, yes, yes it would. It would help the economy. Not to mention helping Mexico deal with the violence." (Because it fucking would!)

And I was really kind of hoping that one of my elementary school-age children would ask why. But they didn't. Damn them and their not-paying-attention to Mommy's rants!