- Barack Obama had a meeting and a bunch of potheads showed up. Somebody told them there would be brownies. [NY Times]
- Then the Republicans held a meeting to talk about their alternative budget and a bunch of people expecting numbers showed up and there were neither numbers OR pot brownies because the Republicans ate ’em. Jason Linkins calls that “happy hour at the Chuckle Hut.” [Huffington Post]
- Then Robert Gibbs went all Jon Stewart on them, harshing their mellow. [Washington Post]
- And then Michelle Bachmann introduced a bill to prevent the establishment of a world currency and everyone got really pissed that the Republican leadership had bogarted all the weed. [CBS News]
- Lacking in mind-altering substances, John McCain finally admitted everyone voted for Sarah Palin instead of him. [Washington Independent]
- His former lead staffer Steve Schmidt came out for gay marriage but not in that way, and McCain turned to the bottle and some old Vicodin he found. [Huffington Post]
- Sarah Palin sought to blunt Republican criticism of her plan to reject one-third of the federal stimulus money by not showing up to a meeting with Republican legislators. [Politico]
- New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand prefers straight nicotine to weed by, like, a lot. [NY Times]
- Papa’s got a brand-new Afghanistan strategy that includes Pakistan and doesn’t make your heroin any cheaper, so stick to weed. [NY Times]