There’s a well-known scientific model called the food chain, which scientists use to understand the complex relationships between various life forms in a given ecosystem. It also provides a model for what might happen in an ecosystem if a piece of that chain is suddenly removed. For instance, hunters kill every last predator in a forest. The rest are driven out by a new housing development. Animal populations once regulated by those hunters explode, and food for them becomes scarce—so they invade the yards and houses of the nearby housing development. Science!
The same model for understanding our planet’s ever-shifting natural order could also be applied to understanding the Real Housewives of New York (or any franchise, for that matter.) Earlier this year, Bethenny Frankel suddenly quit the long-running series, citing personal growth and stacks of money being handed to her by Hollywood execs. It would seem that, despite the gaping hole she left behind, everyone is extremely relieved she’s gone. Especially Luann De Lesseps! People reports that, while appearing on Jenny McCarthy’s podcast, the Countess claimed the women are “better than ever.” As for her thoughts on Frankel?
“I was, you know, surprised and not surprised in a way because I think that she is in a relationship that I don’t think she wants to bring around on the show. Bethenny is, I always say, she’s a lot of fun, she can be really nasty … she’s very funny. [...] Those are the people you kind of get up for in the morning ’cause they challenge you.”
Ultimately, though, Luann says she’ll “miss Bethenny,” but won’t miss “walking on egg shells” every time she is around (or crying in an expensive hotel room.)
As the apex predator, I wonder how Bethenny’s absence might disturb the natural order. Tinsley Mortimer and Sonja Morgan, herbivores and natural prey, might let their more harebrained antics run amok. Ramona and Dorinda will obviously fight for top spot, but it’s Luann I’m most interested in. She could never best Bethenny in an argument, and their power struggle made for a compelling television experience. With her natural rival gone—can Luann really ascend to apex predator of her fellow women, or will I spend the winter shepherding Tinsleys and Sonjas out of my yard before they eat the shrubs? [People]
What a world we live in, where wholly incompetent and under-qualified nerds like David Benioff and D.B. Weiss repeatedly admit to having no idea what they’re doing, and still reap $250 million dollar deals with Netflix. Imagine what that level of successful mediocrity must feel like!
Anyway, the dastardly duo behind the much-maligned Game of Thrones television adaptation were the target of fan backlash this weekend when their comments at an Austin Film Festival panel were shared online. Twitter user @ForAyra extensively documented the increasingly wild experience, where they admitted to not comprehending why HBO or Martin would have “trusted them” to be adequate show runners. They event went as far as to chronicle their inexperience working with costume designers and axing the book’s more complex elements for “mothers and NFL players”
Despite their only job qualifications being “Clown Car Driver” and “Clown Car Passenger,” ET reports that Benioff and Weiss have now walked away from the upcoming Star Wars trilogy they were set to direct, instead choosing to focus on their massive payout from Netflix. Fun! In a statement to The Hollywood Reporter, the pair said:
“Getting to talk about Star Wars with him and the current Star Wars team was the thrill of a lifetime, and we will always be indebted to the saga that changed everything. But there are only so many hours in the day, and we felt we could not do justice to both Star Wars and our Netflix projects. So we are regretfully stepping away.”
Something tells me Daddy Disney was involved the decision, but who knows! My only ask is that, as a form of healing, Benioff and Weiss must donate $1000 of their new deal to every person who suffered the experience of being a Twitter user while Game of Thrones was still on. Justice must be served! [ET]
I went on Kimberly J. Brown’s Instagram expecting Halloweentown content, but only found this Smile Sciences teeth-whitening advertisement.
- Brody Jenner and Josie Canseco—over! [TMZ]
- Halsey! Yungblud! Evan Peters! [Us Weekly]
- The hotel Lady Gaga’s dress was found at denies it was stolen ahead of auction. [Page Six]
- Ellen Pompeo and I both wear sweatpants. [Just Jared]
- Joe Giudice allegedly asked about “potential IRS investigations” during the first season of RHONJ. [Us Weekly]