Illustration for article titled Everyone But Aunt Becky Is Doing Crimes, According to Aunt Becky
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What’s Aunt Becky been up to, you think? As the world’s most famous shut-in and former made-for-tv movie star, I expect she’d be handling social distancing quite well. At least, that was until I learned her lawyers told the judge in the ongoing college admissions case that she is not the criminal—her prosecutors are!

TMZ reports that Aunt Becky (a.k.a. Lori Loughlin) marched herself into court Wednesday and informed the judge that the only criminals in the room were sitting to her left. Her lawyers’ argument, it seems, is that the U.S. Attorney’s Office “browbeat” Rick Singer into calling the money Loughlin had paid him a “bribe.” The defense also insists—still—that they were simply donations to her favorite educational institutions, and condemned the government’s use of wiretapping, calling it a “sham” concocted by federal agents to extract damning information from people who legitimately believed they were doing the correct thing. Sure, Becky!

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While I’m not one to defend the government or FBI, let alone agree with their evidence-gathering tactics, there still hasn’t been an explanation for why Aunt Becky’s kids were photoshopped into sports pictures they did not take. That alone suggests there was some fuckery going down. Anyway, I wonder if Aunt Becky knows that she would probably be making movies again, or at least peddling sponcon with her daughters on Instagram, had she just accepted the plea deal handed to her last year. But now she’s stuck fighting a court case that everyone else in the world has moved on from. When she finally extricates herself from it, either by acquittal or sentencing, will there even be a world for her to return to? Probably not! [TMZ]


Would you watch Caitlyn Jenner on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? I would, if only because it’s my job, but she seems to think the rest of you would as well!

In an interview with ET, Jenner claimed she “sees myself getting in there with some of the drama!” Her non-girlfriend Sophia Hutchins, who also participated in the interview, similarly announced: “I would be on it in two seconds!” Later, they both pleaded with Andy Cohen to call them.

While Jenner would certainly pull in middling numbers for the waffling Bravo franchise, I seriously doubt her time on the show would be fruitful for her, or even pleasant. Remember, head honcho Kyle Richards is as close as a cable-knit sweater with Faye Resnick who, since the original OJ Simpson trial, has maintained an extremely strong bond with Kris Jenner. Fit Tea Federation Empress Kris has even filmed with Richards multiple times. The territory has been marked, and for Jenner to bring her beef with Kris into the world of the Housewives would not only alienate Richards, but potentially her fellow Housewives—and viewers—too. Still, it’s nice to dream big! [ET]

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Ramona Singer is doing the best she can in Boca Raton.

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Will there ever be a reckoning for all those people who carried Trump’s flaming pitchforks against Kathy Griffin after the severed head debacle?

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  • Of course Meghan Markle doesn’t want Harry to visit Prince Charles right now. [Page Six]
  • Marie Osmond is still dying her hair, even while sheltering in place. [ET]
  • I also don’t remember Courtney Cox on Friends. [Page Six]
  • How many people went to Susanne Bartsch’s party at Hotel Chelsea? [Page Six]

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