Everyday Life Causes Brain Bleeding

Do you participate in such normal-people activities as having sex and “being startled?” If so, your brain is about to explode.

According to Health.com, a new study shows that eight ordinary pastimes can increase the risk of brain aneurysm (that’s a “balloon-like swelling in a brain artery that results from a weak spot in the artery wall”), which in turn can cause a stroke, which in turn can cause death. Curious about what you’re doing that might give you a deadly brain balloon? Here’s the list:

drinking coffee
exercising
blowing your nose
having sex
pooping
drinking cola
getting mad
and, my personal favorite, “being startled”

I’m pretty startled just from reading this, so I’ve probably just upped my aneurysm risk. But it’s okay — most aneurysms just require periodic monitoring. And doctors aren’t going to tell us to stop doing normal stuff — says Dr. Neil Martin of the UCLA Stroke Center, “We don’t tell patients to stop having sex or having bowel movements or exercising.” So keep right on pooping and fucking, but every time you do so, just remember that you’re slightly increasing your risk of fatal brain bleeding. Now calm down, you’re making it worse.

Coffee, Exercise May Raise Stroke Risk For Some [Health.com, via CNN]
8 Everyday Events May Trigger Brain Bleeds [ABC]