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Everyday Life Causes Brain Bleeding

Illustration for article titled Everyday Life Causes Brain Bleeding

Do you participate in such normal-people activities as having sex and "being startled?" If so, your brain is about to explode.


According to, a new study shows that eight ordinary pastimes can increase the risk of brain aneurysm (that's a "balloon-like swelling in a brain artery that results from a weak spot in the artery wall"), which in turn can cause a stroke, which in turn can cause death. Curious about what you're doing that might give you a deadly brain balloon? Here's the list:

  • drinking coffee
  • exercising
  • blowing your nose
  • having sex
  • pooping
  • drinking cola
  • getting mad
  • and, my personal favorite, "being startled"

I'm pretty startled just from reading this, so I've probably just upped my aneurysm risk. But it's okay — most aneurysms just require periodic monitoring. And doctors aren't going to tell us to stop doing normal stuff — says Dr. Neil Martin of the UCLA Stroke Center, "We don't tell patients to stop having sex or having bowel movements or exercising." So keep right on pooping and fucking, but every time you do so, just remember that you're slightly increasing your risk of fatal brain bleeding. Now calm down, you're making it worse.


Coffee, Exercise May Raise Stroke Risk For Some [, via CNN]
8 Everyday Events May Trigger Brain Bleeds [ABC]

Image via Danomyte/

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My brain just coughed up a memory so I figured I'd share.

I'm about 95% sure I watched a BBC documentary about a guy with this condition a while ago. According to him, he was pooping (or whatever it's called in Britain) when a friend knocked on the stall and told him to hurry up. He was so startled that, well, THIS happened.

But it didn't kill him. Oh no. Instead the aneurysm pushed on just the right part of his brain and stimulated the artistic and compulsive areas together.

He became so utterly obsessed with making art that he cut himself off from everything else, his wife divorced him, he barely sees his kids, and spends all day every day compulsively painting these horrid melting faces over and over and over, because he can't not.

UPSHOT: Never, ever, ever tell someone to "hurry up" when they're in the bathroom. If it doesn't kill 'em, it'll still fuck 'em up something bad.