This year marking the 10th anniversary of the premiere of the television show Lost, and disappearing airplanes being quite (tragically) at the forefront of the international consciousness, and a Lost cast reunion this week burdening us all with the knowledge that Walt “MY BOY” Dawson is now a fully hot adult human man and therefore all of us are literally one million years old, it seemed like an ideal time to revisit all the ups and downs of J.J. Abrams’s monsterpiece.
Like anyone else who stuck with Lost to the bitter end, I have a complicated relationship with the show. It is frustration incarnate, OBVIOUSLY, but also I’ve had more fun watching it than possibly almost any other show that didn’t involve Tyra Banks’s ego.
Here, for the purposes of your outrage, is pretty much every character ever on Lost in order from worst to best. PLEASE CORRECT ME IN COMMENTS.
82. Driveshaft “Okay, we’ve got the episode pretty much written—the only thing we still need is the big Driveshaft hit song.”
“Okay, how much do we have left in the budget for a songwriter?”
“$10.”
“Ummmmmm…my 14-year-old cousin has a Sugar Ray cover band…”
“YES. GET BRAGEN ON THE PHONE. IT’S THE ONLY WAY.”
81. Bernard
Bernard is like a machine where you put in trying-to-relax-and-enjoy-your-stories and hives come out. Remember Bernard’s stupid S.O.S. sign? Remember when Bernard would get attitude with Rose even though she’s a flawless angel? Remember when Bernard was a dentist who didn’t know what snow was? Having to watch Bernard for six seasons was like the subtlest form of murder. I will never get my Bernard-hours back. Remember when you think Bernard and Rose are off the show for good and you can finally breathe again and then you come sauntering around a jungle corner all lighter-than-air and then it’s KA-BOI-OI-OI-OINGGGGG!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
LEAVE ME BE, FELL GHOUL.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
