Every DWTS Contestant Has A Sob Story To Exploit

This week, Dancing With The Stars turned into Depressing With The Stars when the contestants were taked with identifying their "most memorable year" and then to act out all of the emotions associated with that year out on the dance floor. Surprise — almost every one of those "memorable" years led to a tearful retelling of hitting rock bottom, or as I'd call it, "How I Came To Be On Dancing With The Stars."


In all seriousness, there were some actual sad stories being told in the first-person that we already knew through tabloids and gossip: David Arquette's separation from Courtney Cox, Ricki Lake's divorce, the death of Rob Kardashian's father, and so on. Kristin Cavillari, however, magically forgot the public humiliation of being broken up with after taking glamourous engagement photos that happened just a few months go and opted to happily recall 2005, when she decided to put aside college for a career in entertainment. Also tragic. The show did one good thing, though, in telling the story of J.R. Martinez and how he sustained his injuries while fighting in Iraq. Now that we know that J.R. is a hero most-worthy of winning, can we just give him the stupid Mirrorball Trophy and call the rest of the season off?

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I usually hate when people deny individuals their right to be sad or have issues or complain, and I do kind of feel guilty saying this, but I just wanted to scream #firstworldproblems at the cast. I could only watch until Rob Kardashian and, with the exception Martinez, I couldn't sympathize with them at all.

I'm also really disappointed with Chaz's story. If he shared everything he wanted to share than that's cool, but if the network limited him -which is the impression I got, since the only thing he said was about being a "new kind of man" and not really his transformation (or the hate he's received) directly- than that's unfortunate.