Even $196.7 Billion Can’t Buy You a Girlfriend

It appears that Elon Musk, America’s number one “more of an ideas guy,” is currently having one of the few experiences he could expect to share with the other 333,378,981 less fortunate people who occupy this country: A breakup.

According to Page Six, Musk and Claire Elise Boucher, better known as Grimes, have been living “semi-separated” and sleeping in different rooms for some time. “But we still love each other,” the walking labor violation insisted to the outlet, “see each other frequently and are on great terms.”

Page Six being Page Six, the gossip publication provided a neat little summary of when and where the couple had been seen together recently, a rundown that included mention of the the Met Gala (they went together, sort of) and a party thrown by Google co-founder Sergey Brin’s wife (Musk attended alone.) Reading between the lines somewhat, it seems the pair have been staying together for baby X Æ A-Xii, who, by the way, apparently calls her mother by her real first name, “Claire.” It also appears that Grimes may be the more responsible parent, given Musk’s rigorous schedule of dodging taxes and inventing technology that already exists.

“It’s mostly that my work at SpaceX and Tesla requires me to be primarily in Texas or traveling overseas and her work is primarily in LA. She’s staying with me now and Baby X is in the adjacent room,” Musk said.

The 33-year-old Grimes, whose decision to spend three years with an aging billionaire who resembles nothing so much as a turtle has never been satisfyingly explained, provided no quotes to the outlet, though she has noted elsewhere bringing a new life into the world reinvigorated her art.

At Forbes’ last count, Musk was worth $196.7 billion. Perhaps money can indeed buy you love, but only on a subscription basis for about 36 months.