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Etiquette For The Recently Deflowered Girl

Illustration for article titled Etiquette For The Recently Deflowered Girl

Have you ever wondered about the proper thing to say after you've been deflowered during a trans-Pacific flight? Just follow the late, great Edward Gorey's advice for "girls over the threshold to womanhood."


Found Objects has unearthed the 1965 book The Recently Deflowered Girl - illustrated by Edward Gorey and ostensibly written by "Hyacinthe Phypps" - an etiquette book parody that instructs young ladies on what to say after losing their virginity. A variety of common first time scenarios are covered, including deflowerment by a mustachioed marimba player, a famous crooner, and the ghost of Rudolph Valentino at a seance. The book is out of print, but fortunately every page has been scanned, so it can continue to "serve the current generation of young ladies as it served their mothers." [Found Objects]

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Spaceman Bill Leah

"I don't know how to drive standard."

What I actually said shortly after giving up the card in the front seat of my boyfriend's parents' Camry. Apparently, the dirt road we had driven down to get our freak on was filled with deep, icy puddles. So naturally I had to get out and try to push.

Ahhh romance.