Escaped Slaughterhouse Cow Takes Its Final Lap, Appreciates Life More Just in Time

Earlier today, a cow fled a slaughterhouse in Queens, New York, and took a jaunt through the streets, delaying its eventual slaughter.

Before escaping captivity, the soon-to-be-dead cow was being held in Archer Halal Live Poultry and Meat Market.

Various cell phone footage shows the cow running—almost skipping—in the streets, once again merging with mankind for a few moments longer before, well...you know.

According to The New York Post, the cow toured its way through the busy streets of Jamaica Avenue, happy to be among people (and cars), and even entered a parking garage across from the slaughterhouse, which was a bad idea because, uh oh, the cops found the cow and took it back to the slaughterhouse, where........yeah.

As Hunter S. Thompson once said:

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”

An employee at Pushka Pawn Shop described the cow as “very happy.”

“He was like ‘Wow, I’m in the streets running!’” she said, humanizing the cow. “He was running back and forth, but he didn’t do anything to anybody.” A fellow employee added, “It was very nice to see a cow running through the streets.”

Unfortunately, the cow may well have been a ghost, or at least a future ghost. On Friday, something will happen to it.

Contact the author at clover.hope@jezebel.com.

Image screengrab via New York Post