There are way too many TV shows these days. I stand firm in my opinion that none need exist beyond the cutesy mystery-comedy Only Murders in the Building and anti-capitalist thriller Severance. But here we are, celebrating this saturated market with the Emmys—which would have happened on Sunday were it not for the apparent urgency of the start of the NFL season.
If there’s one thing that will get me through yet another awards show despite the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences’ reported “resistance” to supporting diversity, it’s the red carpet looks and the inevitable smattering of barbie-core, regency-core, and of the other “-core” trends. Will free the nipple-core have a moment, too? Will this year’s string of big-name hosts and presenters (Kenan Thompson, Selena Gomez, Angela Bassett, among others) address the fall of Roe v. Wade—or the Don’t Worry Darling tea? We’ll find out together.
As we await an all but guaranteed sweep by divorced dad fanfic Ted Lasso, join me in drooling over and mocking the fits of tonight’s red carpet stars. Taking a page from the cynical, eat-the-rich Emmys frontrunner The White Lotus, I am here to roast them all if need be.
