Image: Getty

Which foods are feminist, and which ones are not? Should I give my spaghetti to Gloria Steinem? Should she give me hers? Should no one spaghett? Can I only eat a broccoli if it looks like a Venus? If I spill out my Haribo alphabet gummies and they don’t spell “COMBAHEE RIVER COLLECTIVE IS GOOD” on the first try do I go to my room? Do I eat my shame? There is nothing more feminist than telling women what to eat or not eat, so let’s discuss.

According to a new post on PETA’s blog, per The Takeout, real feminists shouldn’t eat eggs because eating eggs isn’t feminist. Human women have eggs, and you wouldn’t tell a human woman what to do with her eggs, so eating a chicken woman’s eggs without her consent is a violation of her bodily autonomy and reproductive rights.

Unlike eggs, dairy is feminist—but only on Hanukkah. A recent Moment magazine piece recalls Judith, who gave invading king Holofernes a salty cheese that made him so thirsty, he drank a bunch of wine and passed out. Then she cut off his head, which is feminist. Ergo! And so on.

What about romaine lettuce you might ask, perhaps? Well, the jury is still out on that one. We (me and Dua Lipa, top two feminists of world) must first decide whether death is feminist. We’ll let you know as soon as we decide.

This has been feminist food updates.