Where glimpses of Game of Thrones’s seventh season are concerned, HBO has been intensely stingy. To date we have one trailer devoid of any plot hints—and we also know that Ed Sheeran, rosy-cheeked purveyor of Nice Guy Rock, will make a cameo appearance. We’ve acquired a bit more information on that front: Sheeran’s character will sing to bite-sized badass Arya Stark, who has already suffered more than enough, don’t you think?
As the A.V. Club reports, the scene features Arya, who hears Sheeran sing and remarks, “Oh, that’s a nice song.” Coming from Arya, this assessment could carry different meanings. And for all we know, she means what she says—that listening to Ed Sheeran warble and white-guy-rap is a pleasant experience. That would be tragic.
My hope is that Arya will demonstrate her superior musical taste by responding the following way instead: approaching Sheeran’s character with her steady glare, brandishing Needle, and frightening him so mightily that he runs screaming into the distance. She could also kill him, but as Tori Amos once said, “I believe in peace, bitch.”
And while we’re contemplating Sheeran’s mortality, do take note that he expects his character to survive Westeros. “I do know which role I’m going to play,” he said in an interview earlier this month. “I don’t die in it, I don’t die.”
Readers, I ask you: is this the face of a man who survives Westeros’s brutal quotidian life?
I didn’t think so.
Apparently, this cameo was conceived as a treat for Maisie Williams, the absurdly talented actress performing the role of Arya. Williams is quite the Sheeran fan, and to that I say, well, we all have our foibles. Perhaps Arya can still do us proud.