There’s a lot to unpack in this note that Drake allegedly wrote to his mom vowing repayment for his profligate eBay spending, so let’s get to it.
First of all, Drake’s grammar is impeccable. “Please know that you will be reimbursed fully through several methods and or means of payment.” METHODS AND OR MEANS. I don’t know what the difference is, but you can’t accuse young Aubrey of not being thorough.
Secondly, this note was written by someone with penmanship typically associated with 12-year-old girls. We already know that Drake writes in a tilted uppercase scrawl, or so we thought. The existence of this note suggests two possibilities:
1. That this is Drake’s true handwriting, and the liner notes in If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late were written by someone else, meaning all that careful analysis was for naught.
2. That the rapper actually enlisted someone else to compose this apologia to his mother. Drake may or may not have a sister, which seems to me the most logical possibility. Would a girlfriend participate in this lunacy? “Hey babe, my writing looks like Jeffrey Dahmer’s, would you be a doll and write this note to my mom?” In 2006, Drake was dating Jade Lee. A thorough combing of Lee’s wedding planning website does not reveal any examples of her handwriting.
Based on what we know about Drake’s autograph, it does appear that he did, at least, sign the note himself. The small signature below seems to read “Jenny,” suggesting the identity of his possible accomplice. ON THE OTHER HAND: A friend theorizes that perhaps it says “Jimmy,” as in “Wheelchair Jimmy,” Drake’s character on Degrassi. Wouldn’t that be some shit?
Send help.
Beyoncé, Solange and Kelly Rowland got together to make a video honoring Tina Knowles Lawson for the 2016 Essence Festival. It was filled with sweet moments, throwback shots of Destiny’s Child and effusive praise for the woman who designed each of the group’s original stage costumes and would probably design yours too, if you wanted.
“She wants every woman to look fabulous, she wants every woman to look confident,” Rowland said. “If she could, she’d make over the whole world.”
[Bossip]
Zayn Malik got a light saber tattoo on his middle finger. As someone with tattoos in precisely that spot (one on each hand), I am here to tell you that this will smudge into a shapeless blur in less than two years. Enjoy your future.
[Page Six]
- Jordan Peele and Chelsea Peretti are really enjoying their honeymoon, now that they’re finally on it and not stranded at the airport. [Just Jared]
- Huh, Nelly Furtado has a new album coming out in November. [Idolator]
- Did Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston get together all the way back in February? Calvin Harris suspects so. [Celebitchy]
- Aaron Carter is trying to get out of paying the guy who designed his website on the basis that he was an “intern.” [TMZ]
Image via Getty.