Dr. Oz Tells Pennsylvania Voters He Wants to Have Sex With Them

With the Pennsylvania primary on Tuesday, Trump-endorsed US Senate candidate and noted New Jersey resident Mehmet “Dr. Oz” Oz offered a pretty lewd final pitch to voters: In a Monday interview with Sean Hannity, the controversial celebrity doctor directed voters to imagine him in bed with them. “So, when you go to bed at night, put your head on that soft pillow, you’ll know Oz will be doing exactly what you want him to do if you were there next to him,” he said, causing the entire nation to dry-heave.

Much of the interview was pretty much what you’d expect of a conversation between Hannity, a man so offended by former President Obama sharing his workout routine that Hannity himself dropped his own mixed martial arts workout as a rebuttal, and Oz, noted green bean coffee drinker. They discussed their mutual support for “firing [White House Chief Medical Advisor Anthony] Fauci,” not “teaching gender studies to first graders… without the parents being there to love them,” and all the usual Trumpian hits. But Oz essentially telling viewers he’s a dirty slut who will do “exactly what you want him to do if you were there next to him” really wasn’t on my Bingo card for this conversation.

Personally, I would rather not imagine being in bed with Dr. Oz, who just radiates a very creepy, unpleasant energy. But I can (vaguely) understand the rationale for those who might be interested—the man clearly has many a potion in his arsenal, has done a whole segment on tantric sexual relationships, and seems to know a lot about “male enhancement pills.” So, maybe the many disgusted Twitter users quick to call Oz’s Hannity interview the “creepiest political pitch ever,” or “just weird,” or the reason their “ovaries just dried up and died,” should try to keep an open mind!!

Oz is currently polling in first place for the Republican Party nomination, ahead of right-wing commentator Kathy Barnette and billionaire David McCormick, which is a deeply concerning testament to where spewing viral conspiracy theories can get you in this country. This is a man who, as recently as last April, was pushing hydroxychloroquine as a covid remedy, a chronic abortion rights flip-flopper, and all-around, just a deeply unserious man.

I very much hope Pennsylvania voters reject Dr. Oz. But in the privacy of your bedtime routine, when you “put your head on that soft pillow,” if thinking about “Oz doing exactly what you want him to do if you were there next to him” does something for you, I guess I’m not here to yuck your yum.