Dr. Drew Predicts Brad & Angelina Will Split In Epic Meltdown

Illustration for article titled Dr. Drew Predicts Brad  Angelina Will Split In Epic Meltdown

Dr. Drew Pinsky, who does not treat the couple, believes Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are headed for an explosive split.

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Tabloids like Star and In Touch have been attempting to convince us that Brad is likely to "storm out" of the relationship at any moment — if he hasn't already, about a hundred times. And yet! These two movie stars continue to appear ridiculously happy and very much together. It won't last, warns Dr. Drew.

Let's just let the good doctor explain in his own words:

Just add up a couple things. There's no such thing as 'I was a heroin addict.' That doesn't exist in nature. Something is going on with [her] addiction. Or she's in recovery. And I don't see any evidence that's the case. So we've got one person who's a heroin addict. Which is a chronic lifelong condition, period. We have another person who has said things like, "Well, Jennifer [Aniston] was into long-term relationships, that's just her way of looking at things." I mean, that demeaning attitude towards other people's emotions. Now put those two people together and you have got a really volatile situation. And they're constantly creating things to weld themselves together. Which is only going to serve to make a more nuclear eruption. There will be some sort of meltdown that will be phenomenal when it does happen.

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There you have it! Prepare yourself for the catastrophic calamity that is surely to come.

Dr. Drew: Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Split Will Be "Nuclear" [Huffington Post]

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resplendent-bitch
resplendent.bitch

After the interview, Dr. Drew hung up the phone, stepped over the stacks of Star magazines piled around him, turned off the Lifetime Movie on the television, and retreated to his bedroom where he put on his Rachel wig, did his make up and tucked himself securely, then proceeded with his weekly ritual where he danced about his bedroom and asked an imaginary Brad Pitt: "Would you do me? I'd do me."