Donald Trump Wins the Nevada GOP Caucuses

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Donald Trump, a GOP presidential hopeful whose toupees gleam like they are woven from the finest of straw, has been declared the winner of the Nevada Republican caucuses, according the Associated Press.


Early results from entrance polls have singled out the entrepreneur and billionaire as the GOP front-runner at 44.4 percent, all thanks to the candidate’s overwhelming popularity in the state. Sources as far back as July 2015 have pointed to Trump’s popularity in the home state of the Las Vegas Strip, with a markedly strong fan-base from within Nevada’s Hispanic demographic, much to the chagrin of contenders Ted Cruz and Marc Rubio. (The fact that he owns the Trump Hotel in Las Vegas might also have something to do with it.)

Rubio has placed second at 24.5 percent, leaving Cruz in third at 20.9 percent, and Ben Carson at 6.2 percent.

As NPR noted, every candidate that has won caucuses in New Hampshire and South Carolina has gone on to score the GOP nom. Trump has claimed victory for both, so that’s great.

If you would like a testimonial re: Trump’s appeal from a state resident who is very much into flag-themed windbreakers, a video posted by CNN features one Republican Nevadan’s vision of a Trump-led state, which will “keep politically-correct people out and politically-incorrect people in,” because “being politically-correct is not right.” So we all have that to look forward to.

Images via Getty.

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Self-Proclaimed Democrats / Progressives, get your shit together now. Like, NOW.

If this trollfuck of a buffoon wins the nomination, then obviously those stupidly, ignorantly, racist-edly voting for him will be primarily to blame.

But you know who else will? Anyone who is still so frickin’ whiny that their chosen democratic candidate didn’t get the nomination that they refuse to vote for The Unicorn Believing Socialist With Bad Hair/The Corrupt Wall Street Loving HarpyShrew (pick your poison). Even though they agree on 90%+ of issues and would both objectively be better leaders than this turdbucket, but hey, in-fighting is always so much more fun, right??

If you sit out the vote because Bernie-Or-Bust/#ImCertainlyNotWithHIM, you are no fucking better than a Trump supporter and you deserve that nun from Game of Thrones to follow your ass around at all times.


Be part of the solution, not the whatever the fuck this mess is. Help us at least TRY to preserve what is currently good or at least not completely backward about our country, and hopefully progress.