Donald Trump Wants to Nominate Aspiring Immortal Peter Thiel to the Supreme Court

Photo: Getty
Photo: Getty

Bloodthirsty billionaire Peter Thiel is telling his friends that Donald Trump promised to nominate him to the Supreme Court if he wins the presidency, the Huffington Post reports, citing a source close to Thiel. And, according to a source close to Trump, the real estate developer “deeply loves Peter Thiel.”


Spokespeople for both individuals deny the reports. “There is absolutely no truth to this whatsoever,” Trump press secretary Hope Hicks told HuffPo. “Peter hasn’t had any conversations about a Supreme Court nomination and has no interest in the job,” Thiel spokesman Jeremiah Hall said.

That was not always the case: Thiel attended Stanford Law School and briefly worked at the high-profile New York law firm Sullivan & Cromwell. In his 2014 book Zero to One, in addition to praising monopolies, the venture capitalist recalls applying for clerkships with Justices Antonin Scalia and Anthony Kennedy. (He was rejected by both.)

In addition to being the first openly gay Supreme Court justice, Thiel would also be the first openly anti-democratic. In an essay published in 2009, he wrote, “I no longer believe that freedom and democracy are compatible.” Thiel argued:

The 1920s were the last decade in American history during which one could be genuinely optimistic about politics. Since 1920, the vast increase in welfare beneficiaries and the extension of the franchise to women — two constituencies that are notoriously tough for libertarians — have rendered the notion of “capitalist democracy” into an oxymoron.

“The critical question then becomes one of means, of how to escape not via politics but beyond it,” Thiel concluded. “Because there are no truly free places left in our world, I suspect that the mode for escape must involve some sort of new and hitherto untried process that leads us to some undiscovered country.” To that end, he has invested vast sums in “new technologies that may create a new space for freedom,” including cyberspace, outer space, and seasteading.

(In a short follow-up, he clarified: “It would be absurd to suggest that women’s votes will be taken away or that this would solve the political problems that vex us. While I don’t think any class of people should be disenfranchised, I have little hope that voting will make things better.”)


Anyway, Thiel also wants to live forever, which would certainly complicate the whole “lifetime appointment” issue.

Reporter, Special Projects Desk



This part -

The 1920s were the last decade in American history during which one could be genuinely optimistic about politics.

Um...does anybody want to tell him how the 1920s ended?