Donald Trump Sends Marco Rubio A Thirst-Quenching Care Package

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On October 5, 2015, Republican presidential candidate and rubber-faced cherub Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) received a “care package” from rival and noted troll Donald Trump. The contents? Among other various sundries, it included “a 24-bottle case of ‘Trump Ice Natural Spring Water’” — a gift lampooning the young senator’s awkwardly-timed water break during his 2013 State of the Union response.


The case of Trump Water—emblazoned with the visage of our favorite fuzzy mutton chop—was accompanied by “two towels and several bumper stickers boasting Trump’s ‘Make American Great Again’ slogan.” The towels are an especially inspired touch. Is anything sexier than the thought of a moist Republican mansplainer mopping his brow?

Of course the purpose of this backhanded gift is to emphasize Rubio’s inexperience and awkward nervousness. As The Hill reports, Trump’s staff sent Rubio a snarky little dispatch to explain the package: “Since you’re always sweating, we thought you could use some water. Enjoy!”

Trump has been dogged in his criticisms of Rubio. According to The Hill, he issued the following condemnation just last month: “He’s got the worst voting record in the United States Senate. He’s never there, meaning he doesn’t work or he’s too lazy to go back and vote.” Rubio, in turn, has accused Trump of ring-leading a “‘freak show’ on the 2016 campaign trail.” A bromance in the making, if ever there was one.

In the meantime, let’s take a trip down memory lane and contemplate Thirsty Man Rubio:

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Image via Getty. Video via YouTube.


Masshole James, Unstable Genius

Sometimes, Youtube comments hit that sweet spot.

In Rubio’s defense he was just rinsing out Koch semen.