Dolly Parton Doesn't Want to Age and That Sounds Perfectly Fine to Me

Illustration for article titled Dolly Parton Doesn't Want to Age and That Sounds Perfectly Fine to Me
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On a new episode of Oprah’s Apple TV+ show The Oprah Conversation, Dolly Parton reveals that she will “look as young as my plastic surgeons will allow me,” and I say: Let her!

Yes, Oprah Winfrey has a streaming show that perhaps no one has watched or seen or heard about since it premiered earlier this year. Most people I know don’t even have an Apple TV+ subscription, save for those who bought iPhones recently. Regardless, the maven of daytime television has pressed on, interviewing a variety of guests, including Barack Obama, Mariah Carey, Matthew McConaughey, and most recently Dolly Parton, whose interview premieres this Friday, November 13. In a sneak peek on People, they talk about everything, but mostly plastic surgery. Dolly reveals: “I don’t think about my life in terms of numbers. First of all, I ain’t never gonna be old because I ain’t got time to be old. I can’t stop long enough to grow old.”


Later in the interview, she tells Oprah that she is “gonna look like a cartoon,” continuing:

“I’ll look as young as my plastic surgeons will allow me and all the makeup and lighting and all that. But I think more than anything, it’s about what comes from inside you. It’s an attitude, and you gotta shine from within, and sometimes that will make you feel young or seem young to other people.”

I don’t know if god is listening right now, but if her plastic surgeons are out there, please, heed my call: Let Dolly pump herself full of silicon until she quite literally cannot anymore. If the lady wants a facelift, give her a facelift—hell, give her 10 facelifts. Let her do her knees and her elbows and her fingers and the stuff around her neck as long as she pleases. I don’t care if she wants her lips as big as life-rafts. Whatever Dolly wants, Dolly gets, and by god, her surgeons are gonna give it to her!

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As a man ... I simply don’t understand the pursuit some people put into “looking young”. (And, yes, I get the fact that I’m not subject to the same pressures)

‘Cause, you aren’t fooling anyone ... yes, maybe you don’t look as old as you would without surgery ... but you also don’t look “real” any more either. Dolly - much as I love her (KLF rulez!) - is inching closer to that “person or RealDoll” territory.