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Do NOT Bring Your Cell Phone to Princess Eugenie's Royal Wedding

Illustration for article titled Do NOT Bring Your Cell Phone to Princess Eugenies Royal Wedding
Image: Getty

Guests at the royal wedding of Princess Eugenie to Jack Brooksbank will be asked to hand their phones over before entering. Also, don’t bring a gift. Why you would bring a gift to an 850-person party in the first place, I don’t know.

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Royal correspondent Katie Nicholl reported on the schedule for Vanity Fair, with particular attention to the rules regarding electronics and posting online:

Eugenie has privately asked guests not to tweet or post pictures on social media, and all guests have been formally advised that they will be asked “to surrender mobile telephones, cameras, and any electronic devices used for image capture” on arrival at the reception that will follow her October 12 wedding at Windsor Castle.

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This is funny in part because Eugenie apparently got in trouble for an Instagram from a private part of Buckingham Palace. Though, really, shouldn’t the whole palace belong to the nation? AM I RIGHT?

You don’t simply stroll up to Windsor Castle and knock on the front door, by the way. A-listers and socialite randos alike are asked to bring two forms of identification to “a farm shop in Windsor,” where they will board buses for transport to the ceremony. (Look—whatever helps the people of Windsor, which has a very tight town center, contain the traffic.) According to Hello, attendees will most likely not include George Clooney, co-founder of Casamigos, the liquor brand that employs the groom; however you can expect to see Ellie Goulding, James Blunt and Ed Sheeran, as well as Robbie Williams, whose identity I’ve honestly just never been able to really lock into my brain.

While all those guests should plan to surrender their phones and leave their gifts and “hand luggage” at home, “the couple do have a wedding registry and should send gifts to the Duke of York’s office at Buckingham Palace.” If you know where they are registered, please do get in touch, if only to give me the satisfaction of knowing whether I guessed correctly.

Most importantly: “Guests are also advised that there are ‘limited toilet facilities’ in the church which will only be in use from 8 to 10 A.M,” i.e., before the wedding ever starts. Don’t forget to go before you leave, Ed!

Senior Editor, Attic Haunter, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

So the real tea is that the BBC declined to cover Eugenie’s wedding because it could it never compare, ratings-wise, to the last two royal weddings. A rando Chinese network may have been in talks to cover it, but that was as sketch as it sounds, so that was thankfully borked.

If she can’t have BBC cameras staring her down, she does not want your peasant cameras at all! These lesser-royals are free to be as petty as they want, and I like how this is wrapped in the guise of intimacy. Ooof!