Dirt Bag: Tim Tebow and Camilla Belle Substitute Bowling For Sexual Intercourse

Tim Tebow has a giiiiiiiirlfriend: actress Camilla Belle, the infamous subject of our magical unicorn love mascot Taylor Swift's angry song "Better Than Revenge" after Belle supposedly stole Joe Jonas from her (Best dis: "No amount of vintage dresses give you dignity").

She's not a saint, and she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
She's better known
For the things that she does on the mattress, whoa

Despite what Tay-Tay would have you believe, Belle and Tebow spent a G-rated evening bowling in Jacksonville, Florida, and onlookers say they grabbed kisses and held hands but Tebow was "a perfect gentleman." They have also been to church together. It's also worth noting that Joe Jonas was also a famous virgin when Belle dated him. No yellow snow for her. [TMZ]

Britney Spears' return to the X-Factor as a judge for the third season is in jeopardy, due in part because her $15 million contract isn't correlated with the ratings (only 5.7 million watched one recent episode, which is actually pretty paltry compared with producers' 15-20 million goal). Oh and also in yesterday's episode, she halfheartedly called everything "amazing" and might have been wearing earplugs, sooo. [Radar Online, Daily Mail]

Let's just take a second here to acknowledge that Snoop Dogg Lion and Eli Roth (?!) made a 5-minute music video for kids called La La La, and it is resplendent.

Okay, moving on. [Vulture]

Charlie Sheen is back on crack and cocaine, sources say. [Radar Online]

After a prank call to the LAPD that teenagers Kylie and Kendall Jenner were in danger and child services needed to step in, Kris Jenner is pissed as fuck and currently investigating who made the call. Is it a prank, though? And, I mean, there's physical danger, and then there's emotional, or even existential danger, which the Jenner girls are certainly headed for in that house. [NYDN]

Michael Lohan says he's the one who got Nadya "Octomom" Suleman into rehab. I bet you think this song is about you, bro. [TMZ]

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard and Johnny Depp's snobby glasses are back together. [The Sun]

Oh, hey, Adele! Stepping out with your boyfriend and little dog a week after having your kid. Still not gonna tell us what your kid's name is, then? OK, right-o. [Us Weekly]

Lady Gaga and electro DJ Calvin Harris got into a mini-feud when Harris turned down a request from Gaga's people to work with her. [E!]

Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon and #dembabies dressed up as Goldilocks and the Three Bears for Halloween. [Twitter]

Hee, and Ellen Degeneres dressed as Sofia Vergara. [Us Weekly]

And Chris Brown was… an offensive, racist jackass. With a costume. [Oh No They Didn't]

G. Cloonz is a distant relative of Abraham Lincoln. [People]

Heidi Klum sans makeup. [Us Weekly]

Tonight a young woman, a sparkly vampire and a confused tourist named Taylor Lautner will sit down with MTV and introduce a new clip from Twilight: Part Eleventeen. [MTV]

My boyfriend Christoph Waltz might be in the Muppets sequel! [Vulture]

Khloe Kardashian was nippletastic while hosting her first X-Factor. [Daily Mail]

"Gandalf the agoraphobic owl given own brick house." What. [Digital Spy]