Did You Know You Can Get Boob Implants Put in While You're AWAKE?

By Lindy West | December 24, 2013 | 11:20pm

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I’m generally not afraid of doctors and medicine and surgery stuff, and I know it’s not uncommon for minor, outpatient, or even significant surgeries (such as BRAIN!) to be performed without general anesthesia. I mean, dudes get their penises vasectomied all the time with just local numbness! No big deal! But there’s just something soooooo toe-clenchy about the idea of a doctor stretching out an invasive flesh pocket and then inflating some big boob-sacs inside your chest with only local anesthesia while you chat with the scrub tech about Vampire Diaries. Right!?!?!?

But also, up top, medical science! Your new shit is always impressive, and general anesthesia isn’t exactly a pizza party anyway. And the curious, non-GAH part of me actually thinks this could be fascinating. Plus, they can’t draw a mustache on you when you’re awake.

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So, humans, if you’re seeking a wide-awake jug surgeon, look no further than beautiful New Jersey:

Dr. Michael Gartner is believed to be the only board certified plastic surgeon who performs awake breast augmentation on the east coast. This surgery takes place with only local anesthesia allowing a patient to stay awake during the entire procedure.

Rachel Saez decided to undergo this particular treatment because she dislikes the side effects of anesthesia.

“I have gone under general anesthesia before and I did not like the way I felt when I woke up. I like that I’m aware of what is going on,” she said.

…Since Saez was awake during the entire procedure she was able to describe exactly what she was feeling. “I can feel him working on me. I can feel him pulling and tugging but it does not hurt,” she said.

The procedure itself takes about an hour and a half and because only local anesthesia is used, recovery time is reduced during the awake breast augmentation. It can also save patients about $700.

Wow! $700 could cover a LOT of therapy. Does anyone know a good analyst who specializes in post pulling-and-tugging stress disorder? BECAUSE GAH.

Photo via gpointstudio/Shutterstock