Did Aubrey O'Day Write a Song About Don Trump Jr.? 

Don-o reportedly fell in love with O’Day while she was a guest on Celebrity Apprentice in 2011. He was an “adviser,” and at some point, while his wife Vanessa was pregnant with their fourth child (classic), the two rubbed nethers several times until March of 2012. A year later, this song popped out. It’s called “DJT.” That could stand for anything but let’s be honest, it probably doesn’t.

The lyrics are the stuff of an overwrought nightmare; the sort of thing a 15-year-old writes on her LiveJournal and then reads at an open mic years later for laughs. You can read the whole thing here, provided your stomach can withstand the idea that a flesh-and-blood human felt so moved by DJ’s puckered face (and accompanying genitals) that she was compelled to sit down and pen…whatever this is. Honestly, I couldn’t even get through the whole thing—there’s a lot about walking?

Here’s how it ends:

You’re the only one who ever knew my heart

I have to move on, I need your help

I can’t believe that this was all a lie

You have to tell me you love me

I don’t ‘cause you’re a fucking pain in my ass

Tell me you love me and I won’t talk to you anymore

I’ll leave you alone

Look, it doesn’t matter, it can’t matter

The truth will only kill us both

You have to say it once to yourself and to me and then I’ll go

I love you

Talk to you later

Vanessa filed for divorce in Manhattan Supreme Court last week, though a source familiar with the “situation” asserts that “I think his marriage to Vanessa was over long before Aubrey came along.” You don’t say!