Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Diamonds Are Stupid the Real Heart of the Ocean Is This Blue Lobster

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To be honest, I completely forgot about the framing story for Titanic, in which an old women describes graphic sex to a bunch of hard up ocean grave robbers because they’re looking for her jewels. The Heart of the Ocean is the Heart of the Film, but the true heart of the ocean is this dope blue lobster.

A Massachusetts lobsterman named Wayne Nickerson pulled the lobster up off the coast of Cape Cod, after seeing it caught in one of his wire traps. The odds of a lobster being blue is one in two million. This is the second blue lobster that Nickerson has trapped. He has named this one Bleu, perhaps because he named the other one Blue (unconfirmed).

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The movie Titanic is about love and life triumphing in some way over the unprecedented disaster of a sinking ship. But we don’t really hear from the film’s true antagonist: the ocean itself. Bleu is a representative, a crawling prehistoric sea roach sent to remind us that the ocean’s pulsing heart is not a diamond. It is terror. It is beasts. It is life that flourishes in an alien world that humans cannot survive.

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Unlike the Heart of the Ocean The Diamond, Nickerson won’t be carrying Bleu around in his pocket his whole life, only to throw it away and then die that same night. ABC reports that Bleu will be going to the local aquarium, though some people in the Jezebel office (who shall remain nameless) would like to see Bleu go in the pot. I suspect that much like a purple potato, Bleu would turn Greye if steamed.

In my opinion, Bleu should be free to roam the waters surrounding Massachusetts, planting baby Bleu seeds for future generations of Wilkerson’s to catch, perhaps even Mr. Wilkerson himself, since he’s so good at it. What do you think about this treasure?

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