Desperate R&B Singers Are Taking Over Public Transit

Why are R&B singers hijacking our commutes with their public displays for attention? Three troubling incidents are listed below for your consideration. Please advise.

Exhibit A:

Last week, Tyrese took to the New York City subway to promote his new album Black Rose. Watch below as he uses the train as his makeshift stage, even adopting the well-known panhandler tone of voice in a desperate plea.

“I left all of the major labels so that I could do my thing as an independent artist. And I’m on the train,” says Tyrese. “I got my security, in case anybody decides to hit me in the neck.”

Notice how no one tries to hit him in the neck. Notice, instead, how busy straphangers bustle around him like mindless drones. Notice how there’s only one excitable, rambling passenger who daps up Tyrese and enables his antics. Notice how Tyrese does some sort of dance near the pole and screams, “I’m trying, son.”

Exhibit B:

On Friday, Ciara used an airplane as a promotional vehicle, encouraging travelers on a Delta flight from London to L.A. to listen to her album, Jackie.

According to Page Six:

The singer got on the intercom, “said hi to all the passengers, then asked everyone to listen to her new album, which the airline had on the entertainment system.”

Will anyone listen? Is anyone out there listening? The flight resumed, babies kept kicking seats, and the world kept turning.

Exhibit C:

Brandy filmed herself riding the NYC train, singing for unsuspecting passengers. No one seems to recognize her. Or rather, they’re too busy not caring and just glancing from their peripheral like true New Yorkers.

“What y’all thought of that?” Brandy asks. “Y’all thought that was cool?” A chorus of silence.

“I got one fan on the subway,” she concludes.

Are these R&B singers in cahoots? At this rate, you might bump into 112 doing a barbershop quartet routine on the A train next week. Enjoy it.