Shane Dawson’s first words back on YouTube after an unnecessarily ceremonious cancelation retreat are “Oh, this is scary.” It’s funny, really, because those were also my exact words when I realized that Youtube’s most notorious goblin menace had returned from his short racism sabbatical.
Shane Dawson “left” Youtube in a panic on June 30 during an Instagram Live, where he shrieked to his approximately five fans that Tati Westbrook was a liar and a fraud. His breakdown came on the heels of a year-long feud and falling out between him, Tati Westbrook, James Charles, and Jeffree Star. In a YouTube video posted the same day, Tati claimed that Dawson and Jeffree Star had both manipulated her into saying that James Charles was a predator and scammer. For weeks leading up to her video, he also faced accusations of blackface, racism, and predatory behavior with fans, seen in past videos that had already—for almost a decade—been the fixture of criticism against him. In response to Tati’s allegations that she’d been set up, coupled with the inescapable reality that he couldn’t worm his way out of the criticism this time, probably, Shane Dawson had an Instagram Live breakdown, then disappeared. Until now!
In a video posted Wednesday by Dawson’s fiancé Ryland Adams, titled “Our Bedroom Makeover Reveal,” Shane Dawson makes his first appearance back on any of the channels affiliated with him since July. When Adams pans the camera to him in the opening moments, he yells: “Oh, this is scary!” He’s talking about his most recent haircut, but really, it could be about anything!
The big takeaway from this video is that Dawson doesn’t address any of the accusations against him, besides the “hate comments” he’s received since he joined YouTube over a decade ago. Also, their master bedroom is over 450 square feet, which is, funny enough, the exact square footage of my apartment. Not only is it gargantuan, the two have decorated it to give off the exact vibe of a serial killer’s murder dungeon.
Really, this is a predictable outcome. While the smart and correct thing would be for Dawson to delete his YouTube channels and find work doing literally anything else—as should Jeffree Star, while he’s at it—of course Dawson has come crawling back for more Adsense revenue and merch sales. (New “PIG” hoodies available on shanedawsonmerch.com!) Like a cockroach incarnate, he will probably find some way to exist on the internet long after the Earth has been exploded by like, nuclear bombs. Future civilizations will find him talking to himself in the wreckage of Los Angeles, his irradiated sludge monster mouth struggling to form human sentences while the hollow shell of his McMansion crumbles to dust around him.
As for the big reveal of the room post-makeover, would it shock you to learn it’s still ugly? Probably not, but let me save you a click on the above video anyway.