Eeeeee! There's almost nothing I love more than a totally ineffectual power-flounce, when someone announces that they're taking their ball and going home in order to "punish" people who didn't even want to play with them in the first place. And today's big flounce is even better than usual—actor, comedian, and noted Donut Hut slut Rob Schneider has declared that he stopped making movies in the DemoCRAPic state of California seven years ago, and he HOPES WE'RE HAPPY NOW. [Crickets.]

The truth, of course, is that nobody noticed, nobody cared, nobody cried out to a cruel god in a dark Schneiderless wasteland, and nobody learned a powerful lesson about government regulation. Nobody's been really busy during the terrible California Schneider embargo of the early aughts! This will truly go down in nobody's history as a painful, formative time for nobody.


Anyhoo, Schneider claims he was a lifelong liberal (you can tell by his deep commitment to cultural sensitivity, see above video), but was forced to renounce his progressive ways and become an x-tremely Republican vitamin salesman fore'er wandering the golden, libertarian hills of Texas. For shame, California. For shame.

Via the Washington Times:

“The state of California is a mess, and the super majority of Democrats is not working. I’ve been a lifelong Democrat and I have to switch over because it no longer serves the people of this great state,” said Mr. Schneider, as The Blaze reported. “The last time I made a movie was seven years ago and that’s because we’re not being competitive."

...“We moved out of the state because of overregulation,” he said, speaking about Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s targeted ads to compel business to leave California for the comparative freedoms of the Lone Star state. “It isn’t helping businesses. We’re chasing businesses away.”

Mr. Schneider added, “Another four years of a Democratic administration will be a disaster, as it already has been.”


Now, Schneider hasn't actually stopped making movies—he's just stopped making them in California. (It looks like his last California film was Big Stan, a comedic romp about a small-time conman hilariously trying to avoid prison rape.) Soooooo, I guess what that tells me is that the rest of the country needs to step it the fuck up. From where I'm sitting, I count 49 Schneider-shelters, and that's 49 opportunities for a Hot Chick 2. Your move, Dems.