In what might be the only real case of voter fraud, one family’s long-dead dead cat has somehow received a voter registration application. The cat, whose name was Cody Tims, passed away twelve years ago at the ripe old age of eighteen and a half, which is why his former owners Ron and Carol Tims were amused to find out that he was being invited to register to vote in the 2020 election.
“There’s a huge push but if they’re trying to register cats, I’m not sure who else they’re trying to register. I’m not sure if they’re trying to register dogs, mice, snakes,” Carol Tims said.
I know as a cat person I’m biased, but I have to imagine cats have no particular party allegiance, and would, therefore, vote based on their own principles. After all, their only true allegiance is to creating chaos and taking naps. Dogs are probably more likely to vote along party lines. But also, with enough training and treats, you could probably get a dog to wait in the hours-long line, go into a voting booth, and correctly fill out a ballot. Mice are irrelevant.
According to the office of the Georgia Secretary of State, the application didn’t come from them but was probably sent out by a third-party group working to help register individuals across the state to vote. But, the office added that they were sure even if Cody were alive, he wouldn’t be able to vote because he doesn’t have a license or state ID.
Oh good, because that’s what we were worried about.