Date Rape And Abortion No Match For Men Playing With Their Balls On British TV

• Singer Amanda Palmer (of the Dresden Dolls) is in trouble with British censors over her ironic pop song “Oasis” about date rape, abortion and slut-shaming. It’s catchy, though.•

• Luckily whatever strange form of Crazy infects the women around Drew Peterson isn’t catching. His former fiancée-who-wasn’t-really-engaged-to-him’s dad is now denying that the engagement was a hoax. And you wondered how Jerry Springer could still find people to be on his show. • German pop singer Kim Petras has become the world’s youngest post-operative transsexual at 16 and can’t wait to wear bikinis and really tight pants. • Because of bikinis, tight pants and the general objectification of women that Christians feel is in opposition to their values [cue snickering] a bunch of church websites are leaving Go Daddy to those that appreciate porny Superbowl commercials. • More sex equals more cancer, you libidinous trollop. • Divorce and depression makes people think you look older. • Please then go cheer up (if you’re into dudes, that is) with this video of naked British athletes playing with their balls for science, recommended by Andrew Sullivan. • If you or your partner is ambidextrous, you might be able to switch-hit, but you might also have more difficulty conceiving. • Rich people just don’t give a fuck about you. • Sometimes women prefer not to let a man know how interested she is, and not just because she’s read The [Fucking] Rules, unless it’s been translated into German or because Germans also think that a man should do the wooing. Nope, it’s probably totes evolution. • But at least cats don’t suck the breath from infants.