Image: Getty

Dakota Johnson wore this dress to the Amazon Studio premiere of Suspiria in Hollywood Wednesday night. I do not like it.

The dress, with its bell sleeves, plunging neckline and short skirt, is trying to say: I’m elegant and poised, but I’m also here to have fun. Fine, in theory. But everything else about the dress feels wrong to me: First, the color, which is that of an artificially enhanced cherry. I know a deep, ruddish red is a motif in the movie, but it’s too brash in this iteration, even with an orange-y blush. (Shout out to orange-y blush though, which I love.)

Second, the fabric itself, which is sequined. Is the shiny yet rumpled texture supposed to tell me you’re having fun? Because it doesn’t, really; it’s too muddled combined with the cut and the color and the draping of the dress. It’s like, you have a dress that makes you look like a disco ball, but then it’s also firetruck red.

The dress is Celine by Hedi Slimane, from the Spring 2019 collection. But in fact, I have a hard time imagining how one would wear this dress in the spring, which is a time of birth and renewal and flowers and lightness. I have a hard time picturing how one would wear it anywhere, except to the premiere of a movie that, at least based on the trailers, wanted to emphasize period blood as a theme (and got in trouble for jacking the style used by a famous feminist artist in her bloody and violent work).

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A press release sent by Celine said that the fashion house is “very pleased” to see Johnson in the dress. But I am not very pleased at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. Johnson looked great in a slightly more toned-down red at the Venice Film Festival, and in metallics at the U.K. Suspiria premiere. Here at home, she took a risk, which I admire, but I think in the future she should stick to this more subdued palette, which extremely works for her.

Elsewhere, Tilda Swinton wore bright pink, wide-legged pants and a button-up sweater, as Swinton is wont to do.