D.C. Has Those Lonely, Single Republican Wonks You Ordered

Illustration for article titled D.C. Has Those Lonely, Single Republican Wonks You Ordered

One of the only times a Seinfeld arc happened to me in real life was when I went out with someone who told me that he was conservative while I was in the middle of inhaling my spaghetti al funghi.


"Like how conservative?"

"Like fiscally."

"What about abortion?"

"Uh-oh," he said, and we're married now! Just kidding, I had two more glasses of wine and never saw him again.

Being that Obama received a whopping 93% of Washington D.C.'s support back in 2008, it's relatively unsurprising that right-leaning single people on the Hill have a hard time coming clean about their politics to potential love interests. The Huffington Post interviewed a few Republican singletons about their experiences in the D.C. dating scene, and it sounds kind of dire: even if they withhold their views from their online dating profiles (as you may have seen, some people actually clarify "No Republicans") or abstain from hitting any hot-button issues on the first few dates, the old After Sex, Go Home and Google gets them every time. One guy, who goes by Tim in the piece, got dumped when his date found a right-wing op-ed he wrote.

"And J-Date is out of the question," says Tim.

The conservative women interviewed seem open to dating across party lines (""Primarily I'm looking for a heterosexual with a good sense of humor, and preferably not a lot of debt") but it doesn't happen thanks to their primarily Republican social circles. A 40-year-old female right-wing think tank fundraiser who goes by Shoshana says:

You really have to work harder than men in this town. I say that as a conservative, not at all as a radical feminist. I think that I have been pickier about who I have been willing to spend my time with... I think we use our time differently when you're a woman working in conservative politics.

(Well, I mean, as long as you're not a radical feminist, right?)

Michelle Jacoby, a matchmaker in D.C., says that it's a shame that more bipartisan romances don't happen just because people make assumptions about peoples' personalities based on their political alignment. Look, as far as I'm concerned, just don't hand Ayn Rand books out to your dates and you'll be dandy.


'Republicans Dating In D.C. Encounter Partisan Difficulties' [HuffPo]

Image via Linda Bucklin/Shutterstock



" Look, dude just don't hand Ayn Rand books out to your dates and you'll be dandy."

Um, no, you won't. Look, I'm married, so this is somewhat irrelevant but, were I single, hell no I would not date a republican, unless I was only interested in a one night stand.

Dating with the intent of finding a relationship means you date people with whom you have long-term compatibility. And sorry (no I'm not), but someone so vastly different in ideals from me is not someone I want to spend months, or a year, or my life sharing a house and life with. Oh...you're only a Republican because you like their fiscal policies?

Fuck off.

I'm not interested in dating any man who's willing to sell gays, minorities, and women down the river in truly, legitimately, and real-life ruining ways because you don't like the Dems' tax ideas. And when you're a member of the Republican party, and you vote for Republicans, you're using your vote to say money matters more to you than marriage equality, fair pay, reproductive choice, etc. etc. etc.

And excuse me while I play my world's tiniest violin for you because you can't find anyone willing to date you because...oh, that's right, you've aligned yourself with a party that welcomes some of the worst examples of anti-woman, anti-gay, anti-science, and generally terrible Americans into their folds.

You are judged by the company you keep. Get used to it.