Crime Time for Don Jr.?

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Image: Getty

The government’s still shut down, and coincidentally my body feels like it’s shutting down!


Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • It’s about to be crime time for Don Jr., according to Adam Schiff, the chairman of the House intelligence committee. Schiff said that he plans to investigate whether or not Junior Mint/Big Daddy told his dad about his 2016 meeting with Natalia Veselnitskaya. [NPR]
  • In related news, Rudy Giuliani is a fucking idiot. [Washington Post]
  • Thank god, alleged Russian operative Maria Butina is merely a gun lover who just “wanted to influence society,” according to her sister. [NBC News]
  • Employees of the federal government are now turning to food banks to feed themselves and their families. [CNN]
  • More shutdown news. File this under “*askjsfkjfdjsdjklf.” [Twitter]
  • We have reached the “Should I, a U.S. Senator, retweet Cardi B’s incisive political commentary on Trump’s government shutdown” phase of the government shutdown. [Twitter]
  • Meanwhile, here is dance enthusiast and possessor of a nickname Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s response to the shutdown. [Twitter]
  • A former staffer for Representative Sheila Jackson Lee of Texas has filed a lawsuit claiming that Jackson Lee fired her because she was about to pursue legal action against Damien Jones, a former employee of the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation who the unnamed woman alleges raped her in 2015. At the time, she was 19, and an intern at the CBCF. [BuzzFeed News]
  • Wow, there are a lot of sexual harassers out there, including, reportedly, in the administration of New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio. [New York Times]
  • Bernie Sanders met with former staffers who had requested a meeting with him to discuss issues of sexual harassment during his 2016 presidential campaign. When asked how it went, one source simply responded, “It went as well as it could have.” [Politico]
  • The family separation crisis was even worse than we thought: a new federal audit has found that the Trump administrated separated thousands more children from their families than it previously acknowledged. [Politico]
  • According to a new report, H-1B visa recipients are often “underpaid, vulnerable to abuse, and frequently placed in poor working conditions.” [Times of India]
  • Two Republican members of Congress met with notorious troll, white supremacist, and Holocaust denier Chuck Johnson to discuss “genetic testing and DNA” (???). Cool cool. [The Daily Beast]
  • More DNA news! Trump administration official Robert Patterson, who believes that using a condom “robs a woman” of the “remarkable chemicals” that are found in semen and somehow still found gainful employment at the Social Security Administration, is possibly no longer employed at the SSA. [Media Matters]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:


This has been Barf Bag.



I can’t believe someone with the kind of money Jr. has hasn’t been told by a stylist, phtographer, PR person—literally anyone—to not let thier mouth hang open like that because it makes him look like a goddamn cartoon simpleton waiting to choke on a fly. But then I look at his dad and remember you can’t tell these kinds of soft-handed fuckwits anything and expect results, unless you make them feel like it’s thier idea.

I know. It doesn’t help that he is, in fact, a cartoon simpleton to begin with.