Craigslist Poster Seeks Partners For "Manhood Camping," Totally Non-Sexual Group Masturbation

Illustration for article titled Craigslist Poster Seeks Partners For "Manhood Camping," Totally Non-Sexual Group Masturbation

Before you read this epic Craigslist post, be advised that this camping trip isn't a sex thing. Sure, it involves men going off into the woods to jerk off as a group next to a campfire, but just to reiterate, NOT A SEX THING, BRO.

Manhood Camping

Date: 2011-05-08, 7:35PM PDT

Manhood Camping Firequest. Lookin' for a 100% for real bros to share/experience manhood in all its glory. This is for real, I don't want to waste my time or yours. 100% JO and manhood, no sugar added. I AM NOT GAY. Don't even think this is a sex thing, it's all about manhood.

Looking for bros to head into the woods and bond by fire, experience life as men once lived it, JO circle, and fire/vision quests.

THIS IS NOT A SEX THING.

Gonna need some basic things/skills, I don't want to be slowed down by fools:

- must be in reasonable shape, if you get winded walking then stay home
- Ed Hardy camping gear, it's really good gear and it's awesome
- desire to be a man among men
- not afraid to wield a blade
- crystal, I'm not sharing mine
- must be able to make a fire
- gloves
- a knowledge of native vegetation (knowledge of psychotropic fungus a plus)
- knowledge of modern music
- protective/splash resistant eye wear
- 5 - 10 of those clip things that rock climbers use

We are gonna need a mobile music device, ipod or something. I'm bringing the music for the firequests and visionquests, Nickleback's The Long Road. I only have it on CD, so I'll have my discman as a last resort, an ipod would be nicer. Just sayin'.

Dont' want to see"

- bad attitudes
- gay/homoerotic behavior, this is a manhood thing. I AM NOT GAY.
- cock rings, can't keep it up w/o help, you aren't gonna make it on this quest
- firearms, there's gonna be enough guns going off and spent shells to pick up
- the nerds/dorks/lames/and anyone less than 100% into manhood.

If you are serious, then I promise you this will be the trip of your life. It will change the way you think. I'm serious, and I AM NOT GAY. To see a group of bros being men, a JO circle by a camp fire. The charge/energy in the air. Crystals get jacked, no lie. You will slip into a different frame of mind, you will feel electric.

Last outing, we had a group that was so charged we attracted bears. It was no deal, nature knew man was in the forest, the crystals gave us the confidence to own those bears. I saw it, I was there.

100% SERIOUS, NO FAKERS

Location: Aqua Caliente
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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Image via Muriel Lasure/Shutterstock.

DISCUSSION

drunkexpatwriter
DrunkExPatWriter

Well, the thing is the dude is probably correct that he's not gay and isn't interested in having gay dudes as part of the thing - since being gay implies not only male on male sexual activity but also romanticism and lifestyle related issues.

What he's looking for is homoeroticism which is fairly common among straight dudes in all male settings. For example lots of frat boys will have jerk off competitions for speed or distance, but are not gay in the true sense of the word since their overall sex drive is focused on eventual male/female relationships.

Ditto for dudes in all male boarding schools. And, of course, prisons.

Which is just to say that having gay identified males in the situation he's trying to create would probably change the dynamic of the situation itself.

What he's not realizing is that it would be fairly easy for a butch gay to simply respond to this ad and pretend to be a straight dude and essentially get to have a live sex show for free for the weekend as long as he invented some girlfriend back home.

Finally, there are lots of dudes out there who like to jerk off/give blow jobs to other dudes who are not really gay in any meaningful sense, because to them it is a fetish - rather than getting off on the idea of sexual connection with another man, they are getting off on the forbidden/taboo nature of what they are doing and the risk of getting caught. This is not unlike a man who is not a true transvestite, but who gets off on putting on his sister's or girlfriend's panties because it's "naughty."

While it is way easy to make fun of this ad and of other ads where dudes solicit "straight jerk off buddies" we really aren't doing society a favor by doing so - since we are essentially slut shaming a fairly common form of sexual expression in the male heterosexual community and doing so in a homophobic way (since there is not really much difference between making fun of straight identified men who jerk each other off and gay identified men who do the same.)