Cool Teacher Reprimanded for Saying Funny Stuff

If I ruled the world, the inventor of the phrase, “Why don’t you lick me where I fart,” would receive a promotion (to Queen of the World, perhaps), not punishment. But I don’t and thus Jennifer Elizabeth Green-Johnson, who teaches Grade 10-12 at Dunnville Secondary School in Ontario, is in hot water after saying that (and much more) to her students. Green-Johnson teaches English, which is no surprise for someone whose capacity for the language is as vivid as hers.

According to a memo from the Discipline Committee of the Ontario College of Teachers, Green-Johnson’s fart comment is one of several to be reported. Others include, per the memo:

She told a student who brought coffee to class, “Get that fucking thing out of here.”

She called a student a “bloody pedophile.”

She told a student, “I have never said this to a student before, but fuck you.”

She said to her class, “It’s debate, not masturbate.”

She told students that a particular student would “stare at my daughter’s ass.”

After a student “made noise by pressing his lips together,” she said “It sounds like your ass cheeks are too close together.”

After a student offered to buy her a muffin for a passing grade, she said, “You mean a bribe? I’d be able to shit for a week ‘cause of all that fiber.”

She told students that a female student “looked like a frumpy old lady today.”

Because of this language, Green-Johnson is accused of abusing students “verbally” and “psychologically or emotionally.” A hearing is scheduled for Friday to determine whether the allegations are true and whether Green-Johnson is guilty of professional misconduct. Scott Sincerbox, superintendent of Grand Erie (Dunnville’s district), told the Toronto Star that Green-Johnson is “not working” at the moment but she has not been fired.


The Star also reports that Green-Johnson’s record of reckless speaking to her students stretches back to 2011 and that she’s had a string of suspensions, both paid and unpaid. She lived to curse another day, but now it seems that her luck may have run out. I reached out to Green-Johnson for a comment, and in hopes that I could get her to curse at me. I will update this post if and when I hear back.

Some Pig. Terrific. Radiant. Humble.

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Sorry, this teacher isn’t cool and this topic isn’t funny. I’ve taught college for 15 years, and I wouldn’t say this to 18 year olds, much less 10th graders. You’re in an immense position of power as a teacher. It’s really important not to mock your students. I had one teacher in HS who consistently made fun of us--nothing near this drastic, he just told us we were spoiled and not as smart as we thought we were. Nobody learned anything from him and lots of people were turned off from literature forever. So I say to this teacher, as she might so eloquently and originally put it to a student, “Fuck you.”