I know what you're thinking: Conservatives listen to music!!??!!? Well, nah, not really. By all outward appearances, it seems that they mostly listen to artless garbage and patriotic pablum that reinforces their collective boner for dog-whistle racism and century-old social mores. (JK, Nuge! "Free for All" is a totally solid jam! Please don't hunt me for my woman-meat!)

But. Despite their lack of familiarity with the art form, conservative thinkers do have an awful lot of feelings about music! Specifically about how the young peoples need to pay more attention to which libtard Dumbocrat Whore-lywood elite libturdtard Jew-sicians are saying terrible things about the Cool-nited GREATS of Hamerica (ham is delicious, like freedom), and then boycott those musicians 4 life.

In a compelling listicle titled "10 Musicians Who Should Be Blacklisted By Conservatives," one-man right-wing brain trust John Hawkins reveals the truth about the liberal moles poisoning our music industry. Hawkins provides one damning quote from each musician, which he considers sufficient evidence to "blacklist" them for life. Rally, conservative brethren! Every time Bette Midler says she doesn't want children to get massacred with assault rifles, an angel poops on a bald eagle! VOTE WITH YOUR DOLLARS AGAINST EAGLE-POOPING.

Here's Hawkins's list:

1. Psy

2. Sheryl Crow

3. The Dixie Chicks

4. Bruce Springsteen

5. Moby

6. Madonna

7. Bette Midler

8. Barbra Streisand

9. Rage Against the Machine

10. Kanye West

Now. Obviously this is just some dumb throwaway clickbait, and I really couldn't give fewer cares about whether or not John Hawkins burns all of his Springsteen LPs and his high school diary in a weepy cleansing ritual in a glen or whatever. But I do want to point one thing out that I think is very telling.

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All but two of the "ten artists conservatives should blacklist" are women or people of color.

Moby and Springsteen are the only two white dudes worthy of a boycott. In case you're credulous enough to believe that "meritocracy" is a real thing in 21st-century America, and that there is no link between conservatism and oppression, these are the people whose words and ideas conservatives want to contain. So just a heads up, bros—your shit is showing. You don't get to parade around wearing "equality" like an elegant ermine and then openly campaign to stifle the voices of women and people of color. This list isn't a coincidence. It's basic bigotry. The least you could do is own it.