Connecticut Politician Arrested For Grabbing Woman's Groin, Called it A 'Joke'

Image via screengrab/News12
Image via screengrab/News12

A Connecticut politician was arrested on Wednesday for calling a woman a “bloodsucking lazy union employee” before allegedly reaching between her legs and pinching her crotch.


According to News12, 71-year-old Christopher von Keyserling, a Republican who has served on the Greenwich Representative Town Meeting board since 1985, was charged with fourth-degree sexual assault for the December incident. From the Greenwich Daily Voice:

The incident began at about noon Dec. 8 when the 57-year-old woman encountered von Keyserling in the hallway of an unnamed town facility, the warrant said.

The two briefly spoke about politics and the woman told him that “it was a new world politically” and he had to educate his fellow politicians, the warrant said. Von Keyserling is a member of Greenwich’s Representative Town Meeting.

He allegedly replied: “I love this new world, I no longer have to be politically correct,” according to the warrant.

The woman responded that if he was proud of that fact, she couldn’t help him, at which point he reportedly called her a a lazy, bloodsucking union employee. She cursed at him and walked into her office, the warrant said, and he followed her in, saying he wanted to talk to her co-worker.

The co-worker, however, did not want to speak with him, and instead left the office. In an effort not to be left alone with von Keyserling, the victim left with her co-worker. As she walked by, he allegedly “pinched her groin area.” She responded that if he ever did that again, she would punch him.

The victim moved forward with her complaint, at which point von Keyserling deployed a defense that makes me want to tear all my hair out and weave it into a noose: From News12:

Police would not provide further details, but von Keyserling’s attorney, Phil Russell, says his client was accused of inappropriately touching a woman in a workplace setting. He also calls the allegations outrageous.

“Von Keyserling playfully gave a lady who he knew for 30 years a pinch is what the accusation is,” Russell says. “And somehow, everybody’s wringing their hands and carrying on that this is a crime, and it just isn’t.”


The warrant adds that he referred to the incident as a “misunderstanding,” which is the wrong word: Grabbing a colleague by the genitals is sexual assault, a fact which is seemingly understood by everyone but von Keyserling.

The woman also told police that she’d heard of him acting in a similar way toward other employees, and that he’d been referring to the groping as “a joke.” She felt obligated to come forward to prevent similar things from happening to other women, the warrant said.


Following the incident, von Keyserling allegedly told the woman that “it would be your word against mine and nobody will believe you.” Unfortunately for him, police said that video footage from a nearby surveillance camera is consistent with the woman’s charges.



First man that grabs my pussy will hAve to seek medical attention in order to retrieve his balls from his throat, which is where their final resting place will be from me kicking them so hard.

Then I’ll be tried and convicted for assault because this is Trump’s America.