Congratulations to Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson on Their New Sex Bench!

By Lauren Evans  |  May 30, 2019 | 12:00am
CelebritiesDirt Bag
Congratulations to Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson on Their New Sex Bench!
Image:AP

There comes a time in every good relationship when two people must sit down and ask themselves: Is $450 too much for a sex bench?

For Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson, the answer was “no dude, that’s just how much the good ones cost.” The couple was seen hauling their new furniture into their house in West Hollywood on Tuesday, so it seems a congratulations is in order. Here’s the Daily Mail with a description of what both women were wearing on Sex Bench Day:

The Vogue coverstar looked chic in a pastel pink denim jacket, paired with tan shorts which drew the eye to her endless legs.
She completed the ensemble with white trainers and wore her caramel locks in tousled waves.
Ashley looked casually cool in a simple white tee and denim shorts, paired with a baseball cap.

As for the bench, it’s a Master Series Faux Leather Sex Bench with Adjustable Restraints, which “boasts faux leather pads for the torso, arms, legs and head for optimal comfort during sexual intercourse.” I googled it, thus altering my targeted ads forever, and it’s unclear whether they got the $384 “Obedience Extreme Sex Bench with Restraint Straps,” or opted for the upgrade, the $438 “Dicktator Extreme Sex Machine.”

Normally, I’d take some time here to weigh the Amazon reviews on each, but I just realized I was clicking around the specs of The Dicktator while…using my mom’s account. She has Prime, and I had to watch Fleabag, OKAY?! So now I have to figure out how the fuck to delete that.

The point is, good job Cara and Ashley!

[The Daily Mail]

When I first read this headline, I thought to myself, “Well, sure. Who among us doesn’t love candles—a tiny, fragrant fire that turns even the saddest room into a spa?”

:

But then I read the rest of the quotes from his GQ interview, and I have to say…this man takes his obsession very seriously:

“I have to light a candle in my room on every road trip while I’m in my room. It has a lot to do with the energy of the universe. I’m very high on that — I actually get that from my wife.”

The…energy….of the…okay. But wait, there’s more:

But I also just love the smell of candles. You know, hotel rooms can have a stagnant smell. I think a candle gives it a fresher smell. I can bring some home with me, it makes me very comfortable. So the energy, the essence, behind a candle, and also the smell quality of just keeping me as comfortable away as I am when I’m home,” James continued.

The smell quality, yes. But what if he runs out of candles?

“If I run out of candles, I’ll actually walk down to the gift shop at the hotel and see if they have good ones. Any time I’m staying at the Four Seasons—I don’t know the brand that they work with, but they have great selections of candles, and I will pick from them.”

God, okay. Do not fuck with LeBron and his scented candles!

[GQ]