The imaginary, patriarchal construct we call "God" may never care about football, but if He does take an interest in people's lives, it's probably, as WillaCatheter illustrates, to marvel at the almost constant juxtapositioning of contradictory human sentiments:
Shortly after charging through a sign reading, "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward," Quarterback Bobby Thrasher declared, "Goddamnit, as soon as we win this fucking game I'm gonna fuck everything that moves! Praise Jesus!"
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