Cocaine Found On Most Public Baby Changing Tables

Illustration for article titled Cocaine Found On Most Public Baby Changing Tables

Since parents aren't sufficiently stressed out and germophobic as it is, researchers set out to learn what nasty microbes are lurking on the tables where they change their babies in public. A study conducted on more than 100 changing tables in shopping centers, hospitals, police stations, and churches found that more than 92% contained traces of cocaine. Officials say the results are "shocking" and may be indicative of the increase in cocaine abuse in the region, but considering that money (and plenty of other things we touch) are coated in traces of the drug too, it seems unlikely that the contamination is solely due to addicts doing lines off of Koala Kare changing stations. Though, you should still be cautious about putting your precious child directly on those tables, because according to our scientific research they're coated in baby poop.


Image via Morgan DDL /Shutterstock.



Psh, I don't believe it. If this were true, you would have to think that they would chill out for a moment and enjoy getting high through their diaper-rash instead of exerting every ounce of willpower in their tiny bodies towards the goal of either flinging themselves from the changing table or getting as much shit as possible out of their diaper and onto whatever else happens to be nearby.