Christmas Pornaments Will Ruin Your Evening, Childhood

Like a lusty gingerbread man, holiday season 2010 is almost upon us. Let’s gather with our families and loved ones and celebrate an important religious holiday — with naughty decorations!

Have you ever been sitting roasting chestnuts over your open fire while visions of sugar plums and jingle bells danced in your head and thought, You know what would make this moment of Holiday warmth and cheer perfect? Miniature gingerbread people doing it hanging on an evergreen.?

I certainly haven’t, but one company assumes that at least someone has. From a naked lady gently resting against a candy cane — NO WAIT! It’s a penis! — to a jolly looking sperm in a Santa Claus hat, Pornaments can provide cherished holiday memories to the rosy-cheeked frat boys in your life or, if you’re into naughty snowmen, for your own warm fuzzy holiday memories. Disapproving looks from your visiting mother not included.