Inspired by Christine O'Donnell, Elvira is speaking out to let us know that she, too, is us.

I now think that Elvira and O'Donnell should switch places. Elvira can run for Senate in Delaware (on a pro-masturbation platform, one would hope), while O'Donnell becomes Mistress of the Dark, introducing horror movies about, say, mice with human brains. The only problem I see with this plan is that Elvira does not seem to have aged since the eighties — if O'Donnell took over her role she might become immortal, and then we'd have to deal with her forever.