Many were quick to thirst after his exposed abs, muscular arms, or bulging neck. (Just check his mentions, if you dare!) Others wondered why Mr. Meloni was wearing a kilt at all. But me? Well, none of that really mattered, as I saw it. I was more preoccupied with visions of what one could do, should their husband or boyfriend or sex buddy show up in a kilt. Think about all the butt stuff a kilt cracks wide for your sex life! Besides, abs are boring anyway.

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Have you ever seen Christopher Meloni’s ass? It is an incredible ass, an ass after which all other asses should be modeled. While he did not turn around in his kilt, much to my dismay, I can only imagine how great his ass must have looked in that kilt.

Image for article titled Chris Meloni's Thirst Trap Hinges Entirely On This Kilt
Screenshot: Law & Order: SVU (NBC)
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As for the rest of his outlet, I’m moved by his adventurous spirit and unique accessorizing. The shirt could use some tweaking—a richer, off-white linen would elevate it immensely—but the shoes, socks, and bonkers earrings are perfect. Maybe I’m blinded by the thought of the butt hiding in the kilt behind him! With my judgment clouded, I’m ignoring how dirty the socks are, or the drug store hair dye, or the 47 leather bracelets he’s definitely hiding behind those cuffs. I’m just thinking about the butt!