Chelsea Handler Tells Piers Morgan to Shove It on Live TV

Illustration for article titled Chelsea Handler Tells Piers Morgan to Shove It on Live TV

Whatever you think about Chelsea Handler, the woman's got giant steel balls. During an appearance on Morgan's lame duck show last night, the comedian told the king of the Twitter tantrum what we all wish we could: that he sucks. It's pretty brilliant.


After Piersing up the joint by acting like an ass for much of the interview, Handler finally called him on his "nonsense." Morgan responded by calling her book "tawdry." And then...

PIERS: You tweet. Very amusingly.

CHELSEA: I wish you did.

PIERS: [pained laughter]

CHELSEA: I mean in the middle of the commercial break — I want your viewers to know; they must know, because they're probably following you on Twitter. I mean you can't even pay attention for 60 seconds. You're a terrible interviewer.

PIERS: Well you just weren't keeping my attention.

CHELSEA: That's not my problem.

PIERS: That is your problem!

CHELSEA: This is your show. You have to pay attention to the guests that you invited on your show.

PIERS: If they're interesting enough!

CHELSEA: Yeah, listen. It doesn't matter how interesting I am. You signed up for this job.

PIERS: Of course it does!

CHELSEA: Well, maybe that's why your job is coming to an end.

PIERS: Woooow.


It's even more beautiful when you see the whole thing play out.

Lovely. Just lovely.

The segment also featured an unbleeped f-bomb from the host of Chelsea Lately. Apparently everyone at Morgan's cancelled show has given up in during its waning days. In my imagination, everyone off camera is wearing sweatpants and drinking whisky from Garfield coffee mugs. It's Fuck It! With Piers Morgan. Only on CNN.



He's a pompous, disrespectful blowhard who countenances spying and bullies guests. She a racist shit-stirrer who thinks she's advancing feminism by trolling and throwing other women she doesn't like under the bus, and then asking for dudebro points for being so "edgy" and "an equal opportunity offender". So I come away from this heartily dissatisfied, and wish they would both get off my television.