Chelsea Clinton's Beach Bod Is Better Than Torture

Illustration for article titled Chelsea Clinton's Beach Bod Is Better Than Torture
  • Who knew? New York Post editors spend their days fantasizing about Chelsea Clinton in a bikini. Apparently, looking good in one is the only reason she would ever exercise. [NY Post]

    Condi Rice signed off on torture pretty early on... as if her penchant for knee-high boots didn't give that one away. [Washington Post]

    Reporter and Jezebel-fave Spencer Ackerman discovered that the Bushies did such a good job as destroying Rice aide Phillip Zelikow's torture dissent memo that even Hillary Clinton's State Department associates can't find it. [Washington Independent, YouTube]

    Marcy Wheeler discovered that the intel that Dick Cheney was so proud of having tortured people to obtain amounted to exactly 10 pieces of intelligence, only one of which led to an arrest. [Huffington Post]

    Of , Hillary Clinton said, "I don't consider him a particularly reliable source of information." [Politico]

    One of Cheney's butt-boys got on MSNBC yesterday and announced that he "saw the face of terror" when visiting the (dark-skinned, Muslim) detainees at Gitmo who have never been tried or convicted. Apparently, the face of terror is specifically dark-skinned and Muslim — I guess someone should inform the victims of the Oklahoma City bombing! [TPM]

    Fox News' Sean Hannity offered to get waterboarded, which I really think America should take him up on even if he's not going to look anywhere as sexy in a wet T-shirt as Playboy reporter Mike Guy. [Huffington Post, Huffington Post]

    But lest you think Fox is completely pro-torture, anchor Shepard Smith won my heart yet again when he got on the air yesterday and said this:

    "We are America!" he shouted, slamming his hand on the table. "I don't give a rat's ass if it helps. We are AMERICA! We do not fucking torture!!"

    God, he's sexy when he's mad. [Huffington Post]

    Congress is going to hold hearings; too bad no one will pound his or her desk like Shepard. [MSNBC]

    Levi Johnston's got a lawyer to represent him as he tries to work out some sort of legal custody arrangement with Bristol Palin, even though he doesn't have any money to pay child support. Also, he started growing a terrible goatee that his far-too-invested sister needs to get him to shave off. [CNN]

    Hillary Clinton is mixing it up with Pakistan and Iran, and looking good doing it. [Washington Post, Newser]

    Nancy Pelosi knew ages ago that the NSA was wiretapping Jane Harman over her alleged quid pro quo for Israeli spies. [Politico]

    The Justice Department might end up dropping the case. [Washington Post]

    And Pelosi has got her hands full pushing for Vermont Senator Pat Leahy's Truth Commissions. It's funny that Congress has to pass legislation to get truth out of politicians! [Wall Street Journal]

    Hey, look! There's one profitable bank in the world now. [BBC]

    A bunch of General Electric investors are pissed at MSNBC for its liberal bent. I thought Republicans were all supposed to be free market and laissez faire and shit. When GE stock is trading at $11 a share, assholes, let's talk profit instead of politics, okay? [Matthew Yglesias]



Sorry, but I sure as shit wouldn't work out if I could look decent without it.