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Chainsaw Victim Cate Blanchett Is Like, Doing Fine

Illustration for article titled Chainsaw Victim Cate Blanchett Is Like, Doing Fine
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The only thing as powerful than Cate Blanchett is a chainsaw, apparently, which she had a tussle with while social distancing at a country estate in East Sussex, England. She’s doing fine, though! As Blanchett claims, “it’s a high-class problem.”

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On former Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard’s podcast, A Podcast of One’s Own, Blanchett revealed her Oscar-winning head was nearly lopped off by a wayward chainsaw: “I had a bit of a chainsaw accident yesterday, which sounds very, very exciting, but it wasn’t. Apart from the little nick to the head, I’m fine.” No clue who greenlights these politicians’ podcast pitches, but that’s not really the point. Cate Blanchett’s head is still attached to her body. That’s good news!

Blanchett also claimed her life has been uneventful in the $6.25 million “manor,” Highwell House, where she lives with husband Andrew Upton and four children, whose names are Dashiell, Roman, Ignatius, and Edith. But between the murderous chainsaws and spooky British manor stuffed with children named after haunted Victorian dolls, I’m not sure I believe her! Maybe Blanchett should find somewhere less scary and British to wait out the end of the world.

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The only thing as powerful than Cate Blanchett is a chainsaw

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The only thing as powerful as Cate Blanchett is a chainsaw

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The only thing more powerful than Cate Blanchett is a chainsaw

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