“I’m going to address this head on,” she continued. “The most important thing we can do right now is focus on the things that we can control. None of us could’ve predicted covid, none of us could’ve predicted supply chain, none of us could’ve predicted bank failures. But what we can do, is stay in front of our customers, provide the best customer service we can, get our orders out our door, treat each other well, be kind, be respectful, focus on the future, because it will be bright.”

If you’re thinking that this simply sounds like some garden variety white woman toxic positivity, you’re right! But as it often does, the veil soon slipped.

“Don’t ask about, ‘What are we going to do if we don’t get a bonus?’ Get the damn $26 million dollars,” Owen demanded, her voice hitting the same octave my mother’s did when I told her forgot to file my taxes until last week. “Spend your time and your effort thinking about the $26 million dollars we need and not thinking about what you’re going to do if you don’t get a bonus. Alright? Can I get some commitment for that?”

Of course, Owen did not receive an audible reply from her underlings, but I have to assume one slip of the mute button would’ve revealed some expletives. I have no trouble imagining the employee group text was pretty lit, too.

“I had an old boss who said, ‘You can visit pity city, but you can’t live there,’” Owen concluded. “So, people, leave pity city! Let’s get it done.” Spoken like a true pink power suit capitalist SheEO—namely one that bought up a lot of shares in her own company’s stock and told the New York Times she often longs for the good old days when she lived in Berkeley where she could “walk down the street and everyone thought the same way.”

If anyone from MillerKnoll is reading this: Buy property in Pity City. I can assure you, you can afford it.