I’m not the first to say it: Social media can be a hellscape—especially for women. The douchemonsters and their clever slut-shaming commentary on our cleavage-totting night-on-the town pictures or their fatphobic conjecture clocking our food intake—all of ‘em can kiss my ass. If simply living wasn’t hard enough these days, imagine having your every move scrutinized and judged daily by millions of Twitter and Instagram trolls. Who has the time? Not me, and certainly not any woman producing chart topping albums.
Add in the paparazzi pressure to look perfect, smile, and be “on” 24/7. Maximize that pressure times a hundred for women celebrities whose farts, sneezes, makeups and breakups are commented on and tracked like a hawk. It’s no way for a human to live.
So, recently, celebrities have been saying enough is enough and getting the hell out of dodge. And frankly, it’s inspiring. Camilla Cabello admitted this week that having photographers documenting her body on the beach has ruined her ability to enjoy her actual life, and it was the most refreshing honesty we’ve seen from anyone of her status in a while.
Here are a few of the famous women choosing to live their lives without documenting it:
Oh, Instagram, the land of comparisons, self-loathing, and camera tricks that mess with all of our heads and make us believe we are less than the queens we are. “I’ve worn bikinis that were too small and paid no mind to how I looked, then saw pictures online and comments and been so upset,” Camilla Cabello wrote in a letter on Instagram on Saturday. The pop star, who recently had to take a long break from social media to learn how to love her body, explained that being constantly photographed by paparazzi–and having her body scrutinized–made her feel “super vulnerable and unprepared.” I for one would love to see more raw, real photos of celebs, and if a pube slips out once or twice, so be it.
I imagine that being on social media as an A-list woman is like having an oscillating fan of cum and spit being lodged at your face all day, and regardless of how kinky you are, that shit isn’t fun. Well, Selena Gomez recently came out about how healing it was to escape the poop factory that is social media for four years! She said, “It has changed my life completely. I am happier. I am more present, I connect more with people. It makes me feel normal.” Kudos to the goddess Selena for changing her passwords and saying, “No more.”
I hate it when people call social media breaks “turning your back on your fans,” as if celebrities aren’t real people with real emotional needs. After a heated post-Grammy’s exchanged with Twitter trolls this past Sunday, Cardi B deactivated her Twitter account, and her Instagram profile is no longer active. Cardi is notorious for shutting out the toxicity and setting boundaries between her and social chatter, as she deleted her Twitter last year as well. There’s nothing selfish about needing a reprieve and fresh start, Cardi. Take all the time you need.
Sometimes other people’s voices online are so loud you can’t hear yourself think. This past February, Charli XCX shared an honest and vulnerable Twitter post about how social media noise and negative commentary around the songs she’s released and her roll out campaigns were becoming too much, and how she needed to step back. “I have been feeling like I can’t do anything right at the moment,” she said of the criticism she’s recently received on Twitter. “I’ve been grappling quite a lot with my mental health the past few months and obviously it makes negativity and criticism harder to handle.” Your health and well being are priority #1, Charli.
If I were a Star Wars star, I wouldn’t be on social media either, Daisy. My marketing team would handle all my accounts. Can you imagine the sheer volume of messages, comments, rude and ignorant statements flooding in all day every day? Nope, not doing it. This past Monday, Daisy Ridley returned from a six year social media hiatus after saying she’d never be back. “It’s not good for me, personally. I’m just not equipped for it. I’m super sensitive—but I really feel things.” To commemorate her return, she shared a picture of her sipping tea in a robe and shades, captioned it with, “Coming out of social media hibernation refreshed, recharged, and ready for what I’m calling my ‘Year of Yes’. Yes, yes, yes to all of this, and go away again if you need to.
The saying goes, if you don’t post it, then it isn’t real. Well, Hilary Duff isn’t letting that guide her. The actress took a family vacation to Hawaii earlier this week and turned off her phone to bask in the sun and enjoy in silence. She said in her Instagram video, “I took a social media break when I was there, which was so lovely and needed.” Good for you, Hilary.
Erin Napier’s feel-good, wholesome posts of family, home, and friends are usually a delight on Twitter and Instagram, but she and her husband are proof that even the biggest smiles need a break. In late March, Napier posted that her and Ben, “gave up social media for lent and a friend posts things for us as needed, but just letting y’all know we are alive! #HGTVHomeTown.” Never underestimate the healing properties of silence and seclusion. It can do wonders for the mind.